just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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