very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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