I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
