Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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