my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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