Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
