omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
