David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
