seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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