please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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