At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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