It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He better not be in your backpack
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
