Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
