I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she told me i tasted like america
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
