As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize