I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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