we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
