I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize