like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
