If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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