It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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