What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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