Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
