I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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