Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
