did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
