but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize