My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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