I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
