drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
