420 ftw
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
