weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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