Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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