If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
