Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
