She is in my trunk
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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