She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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