Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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