Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
