Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
please don't ironically join a cult
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