Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
