Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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