im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize