"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
