yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
