Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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