If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize