I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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