Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
People in love make me want to vomit
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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