OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize