I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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