Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
