I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
