Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
