this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize