that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize