so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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