thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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