the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize