I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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