Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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