You really coming over, don't trick.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
