Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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