they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dignity is for republicans.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
