i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
