Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
