im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
