R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
