Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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