this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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