Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
