You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
